So again another day of training. When I woke up this morning, I was in Port Canvarel. This is a US port so at 5:45am, I had to meet a group in one of the lounges on the ship to go through crew immigration. We were given our passports back and had to go into the terminal like you do with your passports at the airport. I was then given a piece of paper called the I-95. This is an important document which I cannot lose which allows me into the US ports. If for any reason, I need a new one – it’s $350.
Anyway after that I didn’t have classes until 9, so we went for breakfast before heading back to our rooms for a rest. Now, I should have taken the opportunity to sleep but I didn’t and instead I got very upset and very homesick wanting to go home. I just thought I can’t do this for 4 months, I want to go home. It all just got too much, I miss my parents so much and just wanted some normal things to happen && it wasn’t. I was also very tired so this probably didn’t help. Anyway after a morning of safety, I was feeling it. I needed a break.
My friend and I had some time off so we decided to get off the boat and visit Port Canvarel. I just wanted free wifi to FaceTime my family because I was really struggling with it, so we got a crew taxi/van $10 return and headed to Merritt Mall. I just sat in a chair inside the mall and spoke to my family. This was definetly important for me as I really was struggling. I spoke to them about everything and they reassured me that everything would be okay. I was panicking about the pay because how it all works, working on the ship, being tired. Just everything & how I just wanted to go home. I really didn’t want to get back on. Anyway, they reassured me like I said and made me feel better that obviously I got back on. I do want to give it a shot it’s just so much going on – it just panics me and overwhelmed me. I think once I’m into the routine I shall be fine – just counting down! My room mate has a calendar and it’s definetly something I need to get, to keep me motivated.
After a few hours off the boat, it was time to get back on and continue training. I had more training within my area. My trainer is amazing, very friendly. I haven’t spoke to her yet about how I feel because it’s always busy busy. I know I should as she will help me through it. At 6:30, quick dinner break and then back to training. The ship tonight for the new cruise has been rocky. Everyone on the ship – guests and crew look drunk because it’s rocking from side to side. This I think is due to the weather, it was windy and being in the Gulf Stream but it definetly helped me fall asleep. I finished training at 9:30, got changed, chatted to my room mate for a little bit and went to bed. I was so tired, there was no way I could do anything else.
I’m hoping tomorrow will be a better day. I have to do this, I just need to believe in myself. I am very excited to see Alaska towards the end of my contract so it’s just getting used to everything. At the moment again, I’m still not sure I want to do it again. As I said before, everyone seems to love it and always come back for me so maybe I will. We shall see, got to remain positive.